Genetics
by grandHyperbole
Summary: Cross is an asshole, Tyki is doting, and Allen is always, ALWAYS the victim of their shenanigans. So how will a child fit into that, and just how scarred will it be by the time it hits adulthood? Warning: Threesome and Preggo Fem!Allen!
1. Morning Sickness Sucks

**Disclaimer: **Once again, I own nothing and make no money.

I have nothing to say for myself, no excuses or half-arsed attempts at explanation. This was mostly the result of an RP that was discussed much further ahead than where we actually were, and... well, I don't know, I wanted to post it. Enjoy if you will, be confused regardless.

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This was not how Allen imagined he'd become a parent. He hadn't even contemplated the idea of it happening normally since the incident with the Ark! He'd entertained the thought as a small possibility every time he saw a child with its parents up until that disaster, but that was it. As an Exorcist he knew it was a long shot, that living long enough would be difficult enough without the need to also find a woman he'd be willing to spend the rest of his -probably short- life with. That would have been hard enough, considering he'd found himself more inclined to staring at men since his first encounter with a shirtless Cross after the first night they spent at a brothel. Of course, he found that no one could live up to the standards he had due to Cross' unintended -maybe- success at swinging him to the other "team," as it were.

But even with his inclination toward his own gender, he'd never expected… THIS. Never expected to find himself as the _opposite_ gender, with even fewer inches toward his height and even more going to his hips. As if the girl jokes weren't bad before, now he actually _was _one, and on top of that, he was a rather flat girl as well. Cross, the cause of the entire spectacle, had laughed at him for that, but at least the bruise on his cheek had lasted a few hours from how hard he'd slapped him. Apparently, Wrath had found Allen's anger amusing and rightfully directed as he'd stopped the sorcerer from healing his cheek, and kept the usually quick healing from the Noah genes to the absolute minimum as well.

Wrath had, understandably even to Joyd and Neah, become Allen's favorite Noah.

It hadn't really said anything about Allen's masculinity, of course, considering the bruise on his master's cheek had been from a slap, rather than a punch. Tyki had made fun of him for it, due to how he seemed to follow the stereotype of the sexes. After all, Tyki had experienced Allen's left-hook first hand during their second meeting, and yet as soon as he found himself a woman he resorted to slapping. Allen was already resigned to never living that one down, seeing as how the Fourteenth refused to let him forget as well.

Still, finding himself -now _her_self- in her current predicament hadn't been how she wanted to wake up in the morning. Bent over the toilet puking up what little was in her stomach from dinner the night before, it wasn't exactly a classy position to find one's self in. She wasn't exactly experienced in these sorts of things, but given what she'd _heard_ about them, she could truly only come to one conclusion.

It wasn't one she liked, nor one she thought would end well with her lovers. After all, while both would no doubt be ecstatic in their own ways over the situation, there were _two_ of them.

How on Earth would they figure out whose child was now growing in her lower belly?


	2. Doting Fathers

As predicted, both Cross and Tyki had been absolutely delighted to hear about her unexpected pregnancy, Tyki being more obvious about it. He'd flailed and said something about finally understanding Cyril's delight at being a father, which Allen didn't understand at all -his few run-ins with the Noah of Desires hadn't exactly been on friendly terms after all. But even Cross had been strangely obvious in his happiness at the idea of a child, considering the man rarely showed true delight over anything that wasn't high quality booze or food, beautiful women, and of course Allen and, on occasion, Tyki.

It hadn't taken more than a quick explanation on the matter of Noahs having children for him to understand. Apparently it was practically impossible for Noahs to be born naturally, as it was so rare for women to awaken as Noahs -prime examples being Rhode and Lulubell compared to the 12 men who awoke, plus Cross who managed to avoid anyone even realizing he was a Noah until he'd escaped out the window of his room on the seventy-something floor of the tower. Allen, seeing as how he was turned into a girl due to Cross' sadistic streak, and sleeping with the two horniest creatures on the planet, had managed to end up pregnant through sheer dumb luck.

Bad luck, that was.

She would admit that not all of it was bad, though. Especially the part where Tyki doted on her even more than he usually did, and the lack of abuse Cross was now dishing out. The violent man hadn't hit her upside the head -or even smacked her on the ass- since she'd told them of her suspicions and he'd confirmed it with his strange amount of medical knowledge. Considering he'd once been a scientist she wasn't _too_ surprised he also had knowledge in the medical field, but she refused to bring up the details of how he was able to confirm it. It was just too embarrassing to even think about.

Still, some things did go a bit far, she supposed. Having their rather impressive bathtub filled with water at the perfect temperature and piled high with bubbles all to herself didn't cross that line, of course. Not with how relaxing it was and being able to stretch out as much as she wanted without kicking someone in the face or other important things was wonderful. Cross and Tyki had left her be after she puppy-eyed at them, but she knew they'd be back soon enough with something to lavish her with.

Well, Tyki would be; Cross was likely to actually leave her alone, since she'd asked and he wasn't one to be obvious about his affection. It was impressive enough that he'd spelled the sponge to lather itself up and wash her back while she relaxed, she was sure he wouldn't do anything nearly as extravagant for the next few days, his pride just wouldn't allow it, even for her.

She blushed even as she smiled to herself and rested one hand gently on her lower stomach, sinking down behind a pile of bubbles at the thought of how caring her lovers had become all thanks to her child, despite none of them being able to tell who the father was. Her baby was going to end up the most loved creature on the planet, only out-ranking her because she only had two people to suffocate her with love, while it would have three.

She couldn't wait to see how much Cross would swallow his pride for the child.


	3. Worries and Female Companionship

**Quick question/request:** I posted a poll, just a quick, easy one since I'm curious to see what people like more. So if you could be so kind as to pop over and answer it for me, I'd very much appreciate it. :3

Oh, and thanks to those who reviewed! :D

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If Allen were completely honest, even just to him -no, _her_- self, she was terrified. She was a stunted, neglected orphan who'd grown up on the streets, in the circus, with a womanizer, and on top of that, she was _male_. She was in no way prepared to become a parent, and the mother no less! The only female examples she'd ever had were -for all intents and purposes- a zombie, a contortionist, and countless courtesans! The closest thing she'd had to a mother was Maria, and for as much as she loved her, she couldn't talk. Allen had no idea what to do for a child, especially from a mother's stand-point.

Mana had been a good example of a poor father, when they were hard pressed to feed themselves at night, but Cross and Tyki were anything but poor, and she had no doubt the child would be spoiled rotten if she didn't stop them. So she could do that, and cook, but what else was she supposed to do? Teach the child her card-shark ways? That didn't strike her as responsible, especially since the skill had originally been taught to her by Cross; that was always a bad sign. And while she'd been learning how to play the piano besides the Fourteenth's lullaby, that was still something to learn when their child was a bit older. What would she do for the first few years? How would she POTTY TRAIN a child? And oh, with the frequent cursing from Cross, she'd have to constantly have her hands over the child's ears.

She was so afraid, and that was without even taking the pregnancy and birth into account! How would she raise a child on the Ark, where they rarely got any outside contact? They'd be the only human contact the child got, aside from those rare instances when they went out to get supplies and such. Sure, every once in a while they found a place to stay on the outside, but, inevitably, the Earl or Order butted in and attacked them. That was no place for a child, much less a baby that couldn't even escape if it needed to. And what about feeding the child? Would it have her appetite, or a normal one? Not like either of the potential fathers had healthy diets or small appetites, but she could at least attribute that to being male and Noahs. Speaking of which, would the child be a Noah? They hadn't cried in such a long time, had anyone else woken up? Or were they all… were they dead for good this time? And who had died? Their bonds had no way of telling them that. But every time it happened, Tyki got so scared, so inconsolable for hours, the fear that his brother or Rhode had been killed taking over his mind and leaving Joyd in control; the Noah just as inconsolable but for the simple fact that one of his family had died, no matter who. Would the child have to suffer that? While it had been a long while ago, it had only been three times. That left nine unaccounted for, if the others hadn't reawakened yet, if ever.

What would she do if her child was a Noah? Would it be different from a normal child? Would it hit a certain age and just stay at that point, like poor Rhode being stuck in the body of a twelve year old? As the child of two Noahs, was it guaranteed to be one as well? If so, who? Would the child grow and eventually reveal itself to be Desires or Dreams, and confirm Tyki's fears? In that case, how would they keep Tyki from going out and potentially getting himself killed? The Noah of Pleasure was nothing if not sadistic, and he would want to get long, drawn out revenge on whoever was responsible. And _everyone_ had the potential to be responsible, as they just couldn't tell.

Allen was terrified, and she would admit it, because her family, both the small one she constantly surrounded herself with and the Noahs, and her Exorcist and science department friends, they were all her family and she was terrified for them. Truly, horribly scared for them. With the Noahs she could at least know she'd lost someone, but with those from the Order she just had no way of knowing. She'd been so tempted, so many times, to grab Tim and call HQ, to call Lavi or Linali, or even that bastard Kanda, just to find out if everyone was still okay, that everyone had weathered the storm so far. But she knew it would probably be unwelcome, that it was more likely than not that they'd all either forgotten or hated her by now, so many years later. She was twenty now, when she thought about it. It had been a full four years since she'd disappeared from her room, slipping onto the Ark with Tyki and closing off all of the Gates and completely cutting herself off from the Order.

Did they think her dead, like Cross?

There were so many things she had to be afraid of, and normally she just ignored them and consoled herself by curling up in Tyki or Cross' lap, and even without explanation they were always willing to offer her that comfort. With the hormones running rampant in her three month pregnant mind, though, there was only so much curling up with one of her emotionally-retarded men could do. She loved them both dearly, and knew they loved her, but they had about as much understanding of their own emotions as they did her constantly fluctuating ones. While both could get by with women in casual or intimate situations, hormonal pregnant women were uncharted territory for them.

Curled up between both of them, clinging to Cross while perched in Tyki's lap, she shook and couldn't stop crying as her fears overwhelmed her. Their concerned attempts at comfort helped only a little, as she knew neither one could truly understand her untold number of fears that were catching up with her. The hands resting on her slightly rounded stomach only served to remind her of her fears, and while she did find it cute that they were so worried for her and her child's safety, it didn't make a big enough impact to distract her.

At least they kept their hands in appropriate places, though. She didn't need _that _sort of reminder at the moment, after all.

Through her muffled sobbing she was able to hear Cross speaking, and felt the slight buzz of Magic across her skin, worried that he'd done something to her she looked up just to be confronted by the image of a cooing, fretting Maria. With a last loud sob against Cross' chest she flung herself at the woman, wrapping her arms tight around her torso as the corpse hushed and hummed comfortingly at her.

As her sobs became more of choked hiccups she heard Tyki and Cross both sigh in relief that she was alright, though it was obvious they didn't quite understand why her reaction to Maria's comfort was so strong. She didn't expect them to understand, but having another woman -dead or not to go with her own unusual circumstances- around to understand her plight gave her the strength to control her sobs and get her fears under control. With Cross and Tyki, and Maria and their many other connections on hand, everything would be taken care of.

Things would be alright, even if the hormones made her lose sight of that every now and then.


	4. Really Gay Rabbits

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing as of yet~ :P

And the title of this chapter has nothing to do with Lavi.

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The biggest challenge about living on an isolated Ark away from the rest of humanity, and being born male, Allen found, was that now that he was female and pregnant, no one on the God forsaken thing knew _anything _about children. Not even the slightest bit. Cross and Tyki both could deal with children over the age of 10, but before that was absolutely nothing. And Allen's limited experiences with Timothy certainly didn't get her far. So when it came time to figure out how exactly they were going to care for the child, none of them knew what to do. They figured out diapers and clothes easily enough -they were inexperienced, not idiots-, but after that a lot of things depended on the gender of the child, which they couldn't tell. Allen wasn't sure when having a baby had become more complicated than that, but apparently in the early twentieth century it was all based on if you had a boy or a girl. They couldn't even go to a doctor for multiple reasons, mostly based on the fact that they had no records. At all. Allen had never seen an actual doctor in his entire life, and Cross was assumed dead while Tyki was a noble, both of whom would draw attention no matter where they went. Cross could probably forge some, but that would take much longer than they really had. As far as Allen knew he was already working on them, so they could work on buying a house and work on living in normal society again, but even that would likely take until long after the child was born.

Their current problem stemmed from sleeping arrangements, though. It was an unspoken fact that the baby would not be able to sleep in their room after the first couple weeks or so, and even that was a stretch on her lovers' restraint. The reason being what got them into the mess in the first place; they were like rabbits. Really gay rabbits, but rabbits none-the-less. It was only the fact that, medically, she definitely wouldn't be able to have sex for up to at least two weeks after the baby was born that guaranteed she'd have some time to recuperate and that the baby would be able to sleep in their room. From what she'd read in a few books that they'd acquired, she would most likely not feel up to sex for a few months, but she knew Cross and Tyki wouldn't last. Chances were she'd have to go find some place to hide with the child until she felt up to facing her horny lovers again.

They hadn't talked to her about what would happen after those first two weeks, but she'd overheard a quiet discussion that made her suspect they were planning on setting up a room for the baby a bit earlier than they'd planned, and wanted to surprise her. While she still blamed them for her predicament, she couldn't help but smile at how sweet her boys could be at times, in the most surprising ways, too.

Didn't mean she wasn't going to hide from them once this was all done, of course.


	5. Bathtime Musings and Hell vs MamaAllen

**So who else is totally in love with chapter 204? :D  
**Seriously, I love Hoshino in all her Troll-y glory. Did you see page six? That was such a delicious panel of Tyki's ass. XD And Allen's sexy Cross-smirk~. Mmmm, best chapter ever. And Rhode actually taking a hit for Allen! So cute, even if she did get hurt. Ugh, there is just so much to flail over in this chapter, and I don't want to keep you here too long. XD

Anyway! I promise I haven't forgotten this fic! I just... forgot to post this chapter, is all. Sorry. :B

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At five months pregnant, Allen was sure Tyki and Cross were afraid of her for a variety of reasons. And while she was glad they at least weren't poking fun at her anymore, she still felt bad that her lovers, who were normally relaxed and confident in everything they did to or around her, were now walking on eggshells. Her normally infinite patience was thinner than her old "rival" Kanda's was, with even a wrong look or motion setting her off.

It took a lot to scare Cross, and apparently she'd reached that mark around the same time she'd chewed him out for washing her back "wrong" when she'd asked him to in the shower and threatened his rather important parts if he continued to do so. Needless to say, it took a lot of persuading to get either him or Tyki to shower with her again, usually involving promises that she could only keep some of the time, and had to make up for the rest at later times. Later as in once the baby was born, considering she was getting to the point in the pregnancy where sex was out of the question. The two of them got in as much time ravishing her as they could before she started getting tired or irritable, then they did everything they could to calm her down again.

It really was a very nice set-up for her, as she really did enjoy the intimate time with her men, even more than the more relaxed times of them giving her back and foot massages to try and get her to indulge them again. Cross and Tyki really were far too predictable sometimes. She could only hope their child didn't take after their… _hornier_ qualities, as that would just make her life difficult. She prayed the child would grow into a normal adult, not a nymphomaniac.

She had begun to take refuge in the bathroom, relaxing in the massive tub with bubbles towering around her and covering everything under the water from view. It helped to ease the pain in her back and legs, and even helped to lull her into a more pleasant, relaxed mood, bringing her recently short temper back to its most tolerant point. The time to think uninterrupted was also nice, giving her the chance to reflect on her current situation. Before everything had happened she really had no desire to have a child, but over the last five months, seeing Cross and Tyki fussing over little details and coming up with new ways to improve and baby-proof their house, she'd grown eager for the birth of her child.

And not only because it meant the brat was out of her stomach and no longer kicking her organs around as it had just done. Wrapping an arm under the curve of her pregnant belly she winced, soothing her other hand over the slightly stretched skin and humming softly in an attempt to calm the rambunctious child, not wanting her kidneys to be used as footballs anymore. That was another thing; the kid was going to be a little bundle of hyperactivity when it was born, and if she had to guess she was sure it came from Tyki, which worried her slightly. She hoped it didn't inherit his tentacles if it was his, that would just make her life impossible.

She couldn't help a small smile at the thought, though. She was well aware of the fact that Tyki would likely end up an overly doting father, regardless of who the father was, but to have it actually be his… well, she hoped Cyril didn't have some weird "adorable niece/nephew" sense and show up. They'd never get rid of him, and Tyki would likely be too busy flailing over the child to help either way.

Slipping beneath the surface until only her eyes and nose were visible she blew bubbles lazily, her thoughts wandering as she continued to pet her hand over the baby bump. It was strange to look down and almost not be able to see her feet. She hadn't expected to get so big with the pregnancy, given how small she was from malnutrition and sharing what she did get with Crown Clown. Neah had only been able to do so much for her short stature, being only a bit taller himself. As close as his looks were to the Fourteenth's, Tyki towered over the Musician's short stature.

A much gentler nudge to the front of her tummy had her looking down curiously, raising one hand to brush the bubbles out of the way so she could look down. She felt it again and smiled softly, moving her hand to rest over the place the baby was nudging, apparently in an attempt to get her attention. Straightening up to lean against the edge of the tub properly, she traced her fingertips gently over what she was sure -through some motherly instinct, no doubt- was the baby's hand in lazy patterns. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she relaxed and began to sing softly to the child growing in her belly, the Fourteenth's lullaby sliding naturally over her tongue as the words came easily to her mind.

At least she knew one way to calm the child, the pressure on her stomach slowly slipping away as the child drifted off to the sound of its mother's voice singing it to sleep. Things would be okay, she was sure of it, even if she had to unleash the wrath of her Noah on whoever dared to disturb the peace. The Musician might not be centered around anger, but even Wrath would quake in fear of her anger should anyone dare to threaten her precious family.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" as they say, and Allen was steadily falling into the mindset of a woman, despite her original gender.


	6. Cravings are Traumatizing for Men

**Excuses:** So this hasn't been updated in... a while. Hell if I know exactly how long. Anyway, here, have Allen having cravings. You know you've always wanted to read about Allen and his/her garbage disposal stomach eating even weirder things than usual!

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To Allen one of the strangest things about being pregnant, besides the fact itself and just how unexpectedly _huge_ her stomach had gotten, was the cravings she had. She couldn't explain it, but suddenly she really, _really_ wanted all of those few foods that she could honestly say she hated. Suddenly salmon and shrimp and avocados, Brussels sprouts and artichokes and everything that would normally cause her hair to stand on end and her stomach to churn at the mere thought of eating, she almost _needed_ to eat. And not only did she want just those weird, normally disgusting foods, she wanted them and everything else in really weird combinations. Pickles with peanut butter, banana pepper and peach jam sandwiches, fruity cereal with ginger ale rather than milk, she was fairly certain even she would have been sick if she'd come up with these combinations without a child kicking around in her stomach. Tyki and Cross had reached the point where they would make her food for her, and then flee the room to save themselves the experience of revisiting their own meals. She knew they were gross, but she couldn't help it. She only hoped it wouldn't ruin her taste for normal food once it was all over, and that she wouldn't develop some sort of addiction to the weird combinations. She knew her men couldn't stand it if she continued to indulge in such things as mashed potatoes soaked in Tabasco sauce with bacon and sardines.

The worst part for her poor lovers was that she couldn't stand to be on her feet long enough to wash the dishes afterwards, so they couldn't escape her meals. Sure they had a dishwasher and Cross had his spells, but there were some things that needed to be handled with a coarse sponge and a lot of elbow grease. Even worse was that, due to Cross' OCD, it was always left to poor Tyki. She'd sit and keep him company in an attempt to keep his mind off the strange concoctions, talking about random things and making a point to always at least mention the baby, whether it was demanding her attention or not. Cross would always have a shot of tequila waiting for Tyki on the coffee table in the living room, regardless of if the redhead was still there or not, as his way of apologizing for not being able to help and to give Tyki something to burn away his taste buds with.

She knew perfectly well that Cross' only reason for going anywhere near Tyki after he was finished with the dishes was also Cross' favorite thing about their Portuguese lover. Because of his powers as a Noah, Tyki always came around from the detestable job of cleaning the dishes sparkling clean, as if he'd just gotten out of the shower even, due to his own need to keep any of the "nastiness" from clinging to him. Of course he always dragged Allen away to shower anyway, the only time she didn't have to beg with him to take a shower with her, but she was perfectly content with that. Especially as Cross would invite himself along as well and she'd get to see both of them naked and wet; it was her favorite part of the day, above all else. Of course, being seven months along with her unexpected baby carrying, she rarely had any desire to actually have sex, but every once in a while they got lucky. Over all, though, she just enjoyed the view as they took out their frustrations on each other, which was perfectly all right with her.

Working on conditioning her hair to the sight of Cross pressing Tyki against the wall of the shower and doing things with his hands that she knew from experience were amazing, she could appreciate not being physically involved in their romp. Some things really were better from a spectator's point of view.


End file.
